Back Here Again

Updated: Feb 11

MTLOs on the cycle of revisiting old wounds.

"It is man's foremost duty to awaken the understanding of the inner self and to know his own real inner greatness. Once he knows his true worth, he can know the worth of others."

- Swami Muktananda -

Q: What causes our wounds to reopen?

MTLOs: Image of an avalanche

This image represents your understanding that many things within your life come with risks. And even though you know this, you forget it. So often when your expectations are not met you feel blindsided. And instead of flowing with it you resist causing you more pain.

Any time you feel unsteady fear emerges and you close off. You lose faith and trust in yourself. And you defer to the past and the power of the primitive mind. Once there, you struggle to find your way out. You are left vulnerable and what was once mended is now left exposed.

Everything that is external, including your important relationships press upon all parts of yourself. But especially when a wound is raw and exposed, you become more susceptible to pain. You easily become confused when you are triggered by others. But you must recognize this person or circumstance is not the original creator of your wound.

Q: What are we meant to learn from these cycles?

MTLOs: Image of the sun beaming down on our wounds

You are meant to see that these cycles are natural and necessary. These are opportunities for awareness, learning and advancement. And through them, you begin to see the beauty in your imperfections. By truly acknowledging the existence of your wounds, you learn to have compassion for yourself. You must strive to accept your pain and your reaction to that pain. But most important of all, you must allow yourself to see that you are loved and worthy even when you feel at your lowest.

Q: How should we be showing up for ourselves when we feel activated?

A: Image of an animal resting and sunbathing

When activated you should try your best to take a step back and witness. Instead of engaging, observe. And once you are able to see what is happening you can press the pause button.

If you can pull yourself out of the spiral, you can then begin the process to bring yourself back into your body and into the moment. Grounding is an integral part of this.

Finally, look to the animal kingdom to understand the relationship between action and non-action and how this can help you recenter. There are times when you must learn to put everything down and just give yourself time, space and rest. This is the key to coming home.

Q: Often our wounds get activated by others, how can we respond in a healthy way instead of reacting?

MTLOs: Slowing down will prevent you from reacting. Discernment is also necessary as you must arrive at an understanding that this person is not the cause or creator of this wound. When the time is right, inviting another to bear witness to your wounds will help tremendously and prevent you from shutting down.

While activated, you are encouraged to shift your perspective. Seeing the situation from a different view can bring you greater clarity. This can be done through meditation or just by being still.

Once these have been achieved, focusing on the heart space will enable you to respond authentically and from a place of truth.

Q: Will we ever be fully healed?

MTLOs: Your understanding of healing is linear. You tend to think that if you encounter the same thing over and over you are not making progress. You expect that healing means everything should look and feel different.

Think of healing as a garden. Weeds grow and must be cleared out. They often return and are removed again and again. The elements cause some plants to die and help new ones grow. But no matter what happens, the garden remains a garden. Just as you remain you.

In order to flow more easily with your healing, you must challenge the idea that being healed means perfection. Returning to the same place should not be feared because familiarity does not mean that nothing has changed. What is familiar also contains love.

"It is said that we can’t attain enlightenment, let alone feel contentment and joy, without seeing who we are and what we do, without seeing our patterns and habits. This is called maitri—developing loving-kindness and an unconditional friendship with ourselves."

- Pema Chödrön -

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